I’ve learned that love, by itself, sometimes isn’t enough.
I know my mom loved me. She loves me now.
It’s just that at the time she got pregnant it was an unplanned pregnancy. She was on drugs. And she never saw my biological dad after she found out she was pregnant.
He never knew he had a son. But he does now. When I was a teenager, my girlfriend helped me reach out to my birth mom. She wrote her a letter.
Shortly after, I was playing baseball. I walked off the field and grabbed my bag and heard my phone ding. It was a friend request on Facebook. It was from a half-sister I had never met.
I was about 17 at the time, and I got to meet my birth mom. As I was growing up, I knew I was adopted, and my family told me I was a special baby.
My adoptive mom couldn’t have more children. But my adoptive family has a strong faith, and my mom felt God wanted her to have another child. She even decorated a nursery.
Her family was concerned, but very soon I came into their lives. My birth mom and adoptive parents were introduced. She was pregnant and looking for an adoptive family.
When I sat across from my birth mom for the first time, we talked. My biggest emotion was curiosity. I had always wondered what she looked like. I wondered why I was wired the way I was. She was able to answer so many questions that I had carried around.
Ironically, the letter my girlfriend wrote never reached her. But the friend request, which was sent to me at about the same time, brought us together.
While my birth mom was clean when we met, she later started abusing again. I know her life has had ups and downs. I know she wasn’t ready to be a parent and for the responsibility of parenthood when she was pregnant with me.
I’m grateful for my adoptive family, and I’m grateful for my birth mom and her decision. I’m 25 and pursuing a career as a chiropractor. I have a strong faith in God. I have a strong faith in my birth mom’s decision that adoption was in my best interest.
Guilt has no part in a decision to place your baby for adoption. The best interest and well-being of your child and his quality of life are what adoption is about.
You want your kids to win in life. And my childhood shaped me. If I had grown up in an environment with drugs, it’s more likely I would’ve repeated the pattern.
Author: Destiny Adoption Services
Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.