If you’re looking for an adoptive family, you want a family who will totally love and accept your child. How do you find the perfect family for your child? To take confusion out of the equation, let’s talk about the steps you’ll take.
Taking it step by step makes you feel less overwhelmed. When you’re calm and focused, you can think more clearly and make better choices for you and your baby. You’ve made the choice to place your baby for adoption — now what?
You’re in control of the adoption process, and you create an adoption plan that is right for you.
Step #1 – What do you want?
Make a list. From the family’s size to religion and from geographic location to interests, what is important to you? Of course, there are must haves that are deal breakers and preferences that are optional. The following are considerations:
- Type of adoption (open or closed)
- Couple, single parent, same sex couple
- How long the prospective adoptive parents have been together
- Race and religion
- Existing siblings (biological and adopted)
- Geographic location
- Type of family housing and neighborhood
- Prospective adoptive parents’ educations and careers
- Stay-at-home parent or two working parent household
- Educational goals for your child
- Family’s activities and interests (for example, are they animal lovers?)
- Extended family and relationship (for example, wanting a large, close extended family)
Step #2 – Review Family Profiles
Based on your criteria, Destiny Adoption will provide you with profiles of prospective adoptive families. You can review these and request more information as you need.
Destiny Adoption staff will help you as much or as little as you’d like. Once you have selected a prospective family, you can get to know them by scheduling a visit, exchanging e-mails or having conference calls.
As Destiny helps you find the best fit, they will also answer your questions about the adoption process. In addition, emotional support and counseling is also offered to Destiny Adoption birth moms. You don’t have to be alone.
It’s normal to feel sad, scared and confused. But because you’re considering adoption, it means you’re strong, courageous and unselfish. That is who your child needs making decisions on their behalf.
Step #3 – Meet the Prospective Family
The Destiny Adoption team includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers, who have more than four decades of adoption experience. They facilitate the visit or conference calls with you and the prospective adoptive family.
How do you prepare for this visit or conversation? Have your questions prepared for the family. Be ready to address any areas of concern you may have and to discuss the adoption plan you want.
As you prepare, also keep in mind what’s going on below the surface — for you and the family.
Your thoughts and emotions.
You may be experiencing an unplanned pregnancy. You may be facing financial difficulty. You may feel self-judgment and anxiety. You may have doubts … will they want my baby? Will they love and accept my baby? What will they think of me?
These are feelings. They’re normal. Remember, they don’t define you or your baby. Watch the feelings and doubts come and let them go. This process is about love and acceptance.
Their thoughts and emotions.
It may help to understand that the prospective adoptive family may be feeling self-judgment and anxiety as well. A couple may have faced infertility issues. A single, prospective parent may have life-long dreams of being a parent yet no partner to share those dreams. A same sex couple may have been turned down by other agencies and birth moms.
They may also have doubts … will the birth mom want us as adoptive parents? Does she know how much love and acceptance we have to give her child?
Write your adoption story.
Be open to the possibilities. Be open to the compassion, love and acceptance that are here for you. You’re respected for making this courageous decision and for giving happiness, which wouldn’t be possible without you, to your child and an adoptive family.
Author: Destiny Adoption Services
Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.