Becoming a birth mother is a difficult and often painful choice. If you’re pregnant and considering placing your child for adoption, there are many possible choices you can make.
Often, birth mothers pursue open adoption agreements so they can continue to have a connection with their child. Open adoptions give the birth mother and adoptive family different levels of access to each other’s personal information and possible continuing contact.
Types of Open Adoptions
The level of contact between the birth mother and adoptive family can vary based on what works for both parties. Some open adoptions are restricted to sharing photos, letters or phone calls, while others include regular visits.
The Advantages of Open Adoption
If you choose open adoption for your child, you’ll have the opportunity to meet possible adoptive parents for your child and you can talk to them about their values and goals for raising your baby. For many birth mothers, knowing the adoptive family before the child’s birth is comforting. You can rest easy knowing that your child will have a loving home.
Depending on the open adoption plan you make with your child’s adoptive parents, you may also be able to build and maintain a positive relationship with your child as he or she grows.
It’s All About the Child
It is important to remember that every choice you make about your open adoption plan should be for the good of your child. Open adoption can be a complicated and sometimes frustrating process. You should be willing to go into the adoption with an open mind.
Be prepared for some bumps in the road, including possible disagreements with the chosen adoptive parents and the possibility that the adoptive parents may want more or less contact as your relationship grows.
Of course, you should also remember that your child is a unique individual, and he or she may begin to develop conflicting feelings about you or his or her birth parents as time goes on. Be prepared to answer any questions your child may have, but also be ready to act as a team with your child’s adoptive parents.
Is Open Adoption Right For You?
Open adoption has benefits and risks. Choosing an adoptive family and making an open adoption agreement is a complicated process, and building a loving relationship with your child as a birth mother is equally complicated. If you work hard and keep your child’s best interests in mind, you can build a positive and safe life for them with an open adoption. Ultimately however, only you can decide if you are ready for everything that comes with an open adoption.
From making an adoption plan to choosing a type of adoption and even receiving post-adoption support, you need a team who will be a champion for you and your baby. Destiny can answer your questions about the adoption process and the pros and cons of each type of adoption, including open adoption, the process and your options.
“My adoption is open. I’m lucky to have understanding and generous people as my son’s adoptive parents. I would recommend it and recommend having good boundaries. I get visits and pictures and letters. They respect my time with them, and I respect their time. It’s a give and take,” said Destiny birth mom Shelley.
Author: Destiny Adoption Services
Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.