Thinking of gift ideas for Mom is easy, right? We think of sentimental things or items and experiences that make day to day life more manageable for her. Our gifts are tokens of all Mom does for us. Whether it’s an adoptive Mom or a birth Mom, “Mom” impacts our lives in mighty ways.
The most consistent questions asked by adoptive families during the holidays surrounds gifts for the birth Mom. What IS an appropriate gift for your child’s birth Mother? This can depend much on the nature of your relationship. If you have a wide open, healthy, and ongoing relationship, it’s likely you won’t be the family asking this question. You know her needs and her goals. She is an active part of your family and thinking of gifts for her may come easier than what to do for your own Mom.
Some post placement plans involve a less open relationship or zero communication. Make no mistake, this decision doesn’t make her any less a mother. She is and always will be the birth Mom / first Mom. So, how do you honor her and her decision trough gift giving? Meet a need where you know there is one, when you are able. There are beautiful pieces of jewelry and art available that directly reflects the adoptive family / birth mother relationship. It’s a sentimental and tangible item that will provide a lifetime of memories for her. If your placement plan allows for it, companies such as Walgreens and Shutterfly can create beautiful books of photos and stories. Write a letter. Donate to an organization, on her behalf, that is directly involved in assisting her and her family.
When no relationship is established, there is still opportunity. Donate funds or serve a community in her honor. There’s so much need out there and so many opportunities to love on young women making really hard decisions. Plant a tree or flower garden in her honor. As a family, continually care for and nurture it. Regardless of the gift or honorarium you decide, your ability to see her heart and be grateful for the amazing gift SHE gave YOU will create a beautiful legacy.