The Holistic Guide to Learning to Live Life After Loss

After 2020 and 2021, it seems that most people have experienced more loss than any other season of their lives. The grief and absence of loved ones, relationships, memories, and all we hold dear and cherish has taken its toll and left many with their lives feeling out of control and hopeless.

At Destiny, we have faced some of our own losses with the recent passing of loved ones. We have been searching and listening and making our way through the rubble to make sense of the endless stories of grief especially in the last couple of years. We firmly believe that you can find life after loss and hope our thoughts and words bring comfort and hope to you if you are dealing with a loss heading into this new year, 2022.

People in our lives become firmly woven into the fabric of our year and the pattern of how we do life and celebrate holidays. When we are facing a new year, we begin to try and figure out how we will go through Father’s Day without Dad here or Valentines Day without our spouse. Maybe you lost your grandmother and can’t imagine Thanksgiving this year without her candied yams. You might be a birthmom who selflessly placed your child for adoption and are navigating the grief and loss of that decision.

Whatever loss you are feeling, just know that our minds often pre-build and plan our year with the people we think will be there and when we experience the loss of one of those people, it becomes nearly impossible to imagine all of the year’s festivities without them. Our natural instinct is to try and maybe recreate those candied yams or essentially fool our hearts and minds into believing that we aren’t feeling the loss that inevitably eats away at our sanity.

Simply, we all have a tough time taking those patterns of life that we have all grown accustomed to and allowing grief to bring us to a place of letting some of them go. Maybe the most healthy thing we can do is let new life be birthed from the pain of our loss instead of allowing our loss to take away our life. What if the greatest way you can honor the one you loved and lost is to not try and make your holiday as if they were still there? It is almost the notion or reason why we retire a player’s number in professional sports. It might just be fitting and healing for us to celebrate their legacy by not trying to fill those voids they left but simply hanging up their jersey and letting our life adapt to new ways of living.

We hope and pray that 2022 is not a year of loss for you but we don’t want to forget all that you have been through and we believe that this new year could be a season of regeneration, healing, laughter, and adventure for all of us.

Happy New Year from the girls of Destiny Adoption!