Recently, we were contacted by an expectant mother 6 weeks prior to her delivery date. She had thought carefully and was ready to consider adoption even though she would not have the support of the most significant and important person in her life, her mother.
She found out about her pregnancy during her voluntary stay in a drug rehabilitation program. She had successfully maintained her sobriety throughout her pregnancy and absolutely did not want to be another relapse statistic.
After phone conversations, the day came that she met with our Destiny advocates and formed an adoption plan. That same day she enrolled in online college courses geared towards obtaining a degree in social work. She felt her own trials and tribulations she has walked through and lived to speak about may serve a greater purpose for those who may find themselves walking a similar path. She was determined to make any and all changes to improve her future chances and break the cycles in her life.
Most of our birth parents take the time to carefully consider prospective adoptive parent profiles but she seemed to take even more interest than normal. She sat with 15 prospective adoptive parent profiles and mindfully asked questions about important details that were not included in the profile books. Writing notes about every profile she carefully considered things that were important to her like cultural diversity and whether the “laughing photos” in the profile seemed genuine and joyful. She wanted to place her baby in a home that embraced different world views and lived with the soundtrack of laughter.
The day came for her to finally give birth and she labored gracefully even when the pain felt unbearable at times. She labored without her mother by her side, surrendering to and understanding the fact that her mother simply didn’t understand adoption and wasn’t in a position to see adoption through her eyes. She showed kindness throughout her labor even when kindness wasn’t reciprocated by a medical team who also seemed to misunderstand adoption. She smiled wide with tears streaming down her face when she delivered. She looked at her baby with a tremendous sense of awe and joy, despite silent stares and a thick air of judgement. She reveled in every sacred second she held her baby before feeling the gut wrenching and bittersweet pain of placing her baby in the arms of the adoptive parents she THOUGHTFULLY chose. In that moment, she created light in a very dark and misunderstood space, hoping her light would expose the truth about the realities of adoption from the perspective of a BIRTH MOTHER. By reading this today and sharing her story, you are making her desire to educate our community and society on adoption through the eyes of a birth mom.
She chose adoption because she researched and educated herself to the fullest extent regarding her choices, rights, and options and felt empowered and confident in her decision. She realized she had an opportunity to carve out and create space for a future full of hope for herself, her baby, the adoptive family she chose, and any expectant mother that might find herself in similar circumstances such as hers in the future.
This is the story of a Destiny Birth Mom. Keep her in your thoughts and prayers and honor her story by breaking the cycle of adoption misinformation.