Even if adopted at birth, adopted children think about their birth family. Sometimes, holidays can trigger more intense feelings. Adoptive parents can help by being open, talking with children and creating ways to honor their birth parents.

Reminding children of their roots, where they came from and the unconditional love and acceptance you have for them is the greatest gift of the holidays.

1. Honoring Heritage

Talk about your child’s heritage. Incorporate into your holiday celebrations customs, music or foods that honor and recognize the birth family and origins.

2. Pay It Forward

Light the spirit of giving in your children. They can donate art, gifts or money in honor of their birth parents or family. They can also express their gratitude for adoption by giving to a child in foster care or living in a children’s home.

3. Start a Tradition

To honor your child’s birth parents or family, create an annual holiday tradition. Before a special holiday event, light a candle, sing a song or say a special prayer.

4. Gift Package

If you have an open adoption or maintain contact with your child’s birth parents, it’s the perfect time for a gift package. Have your child participate if old enough. The package can include photos and a special craft or card handmade by your child.

5. Record Their Feelings

If old enough, have your children write a letter, tribute or poem to their birth parents. This can be shared and mailed to them or shared with their adoptive family members and saved in a special keepsake box.


These traditions and activities can provide a sense of honor, connection and security. By creating positive and cherished memories, you can help your children look forward to holiday celebrations that recognize and honor their past and celebrate their present.


Author: Destiny Adoption Services

Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.