Coming to terms with pregnancy can be difficult in any case. Even if you were surprised by the results of your pregnancy test or merely disappointed, handling an unwanted pregnancy is going to be an emotional journey. It doesn’t matter if the pregnancy is planned or not. Pregnancy is a life-changing event, and you will never be the same regardless of what you decide.

Coping with an unintentional pregnancy is a very personal and intimate process. This article can’t tell you precisely how to accept pregnancy in your specific circumstances. However, we have outlined some tips below for handling an unplanned pregnancy and proceeding with a decision that you feel works best for you and the baby.

1. See a Doctor to Confirm Your Pregnancy

The first step in the case of an unexpected pregnancy is confirming that you are pregnant. Once it is confirmed that you are indeed pregnant, it is very important to begin taking care of yourself and your baby as much as you can — even if you ultimately decide not to carry the pregnancy to term. While you are beginning the first phases of wondering how to cope with an unplanned pregnancy, taking care of yourself is a healthy way of moving forward in the coping process.

It is recommended that you schedule an appointment with a health care provider for your initial prenatal visit as soon as possible. Under a physician’s care, you can be screened for any issues that could lead to complications in your pregnancy. If you use drugs or alcohol, you should stop, as these substances could harm your baby. Your doctor can give you advice on what to and what not to eat, how much rest you need and a safe exercise plan to assist your body in preparing for this journey. Even if you decide that parenting is not for you, it is important to take care of yourself and your body in the meantime.

2. Take Your Time to Come to Terms With Being Pregnant

Handling an unintentional pregnancy also means managing all the complicated emotions that come along with it. Dealing with an unexpected pregnancy is going to be a different process for everyone, but in any case, it is likely to involve a wide range of emotions. If you are feeling anger, depression or shock, rest assured that these emotions are normal and to be expected.

Maybe you are scared to tell the baby’s father. Alternatively, you may be afraid of what other people will think. Perhaps you thought that you were being safe and are confused about how this has happened. All of these reactions are valid, and it is acceptable to acknowledge these thoughts and feelings. In some cases, taking the time to work through these feelings can bring you much closer to coming to terms with an unplanned pregnancy.

Even if you feel that you are prepared to be a mother, it is OK to be shocked at the idea of going through pregnancy and birth when you weren’t planning on it. These feelings may greatly increase if you aren’t sure that you want to become a parent. Everyone is different and there is no “right” way to cope with an unexpected pregnancy.

3. Learn Everything You Can About Your Options

Once you feel that you made progress on accepting your unplanned pregnancy and are ready to sit down to decide how you are going to move forward, it’s important to research your unexpected pregnancy options. Essentially, every pregnant woman has three options: parenting, adoption and abortion. As you decide how to proceed with your unplanned pregnancy, there are several questions that you should ask yourself regarding each.


  • Am I prepared to become a mother?
  • Can I provide for a child financially?
  • Am I mentally ready to provide my baby with everything he or she may need?
  • Will I have any help raising this child?


  • How much will it cost?
  • Does my state have any laws that may make this choice more difficult?
  • How will it affect me emotionally in the long term?
  • Am I keeping it a secret, or will I reach out for support?


  • Will I get to see my baby again?
  • How am I going to feel about another family raising my child?
  • Will I have support in my decision?


In any case, the decision is ultimately yours alone, as it is your body in question. You can speak with doctors, adoption counselors and even adoption agency professionals about each of your options and how to deal with your unplanned pregnancy in a way that is best for you. Contact us for assistance regarding your unexpected pregnancy. You are never under any obligation to choose adoption by contacting us. We are available by phone 24/7. Call 727-202-8966.


Author: Destiny Adoption Services

Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.