How Does the Adoption Matching Process Work?

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The adoption matching process is how an expectant parent considering adoption and a prospective adoptive family are connected. Rather than simply being assigned a family, expectant parents can review waiting family profiles, consider what qualities and values are important to them, and learn more about prospective adoptive parents before making a decision. The goal is to help create a match that feels comfortable and reflects the preferences you have for yourself, your baby, and your adoption plan.

The adoption matching process helps connect an expectant parent considering adoption with a prospective adoptive family. It is an important part of creating an adoption plan because it gives you an opportunity to think about the kind of family and future you envision for your baby.

A match is about more than finding an adoptive family that is ready to adopt. Your preferences, questions, and comfort with the prospective family can all be part of the process.

The matching process often begins by learning what is important to you in an adoptive family.

You may have preferences about where a family lives, whether they already have children, their lifestyle, values, religion, interests, education, or extended family. You may also have preferences about the type of communication or relationship you hope to maintain after placement.

These preferences can help identify prospective adoptive families for you to consider.

Choosing the adoptive family can be part of your adoption plan.

You may be able to review profiles of waiting adoptive families and learn about their lives, relationships, interests, values, and hopes for becoming parents. If a particular family interests you, you may also have an opportunity to learn more about them before deciding whether you would like to move forward.

You do not have to select a family simply because their profile was presented to you. Finding a family you feel comfortable with is an important part of the matching process.

There is no single list of qualities that makes one adoptive family right for everyone. Different things matter to different expectant parents.

You might consider:

• Where the family lives
• Whether they already have children
• Their values and beliefs
• Their lifestyle and interests
• Their extended family and support system
• Their approach to parenting and education
• Their careers and childcare plans
• Whether they have pets
• Their feelings about open adoption
• The type of contact they are comfortable maintaining after placement

You may know exactly what you want, or you may discover what matters to you as you review families and learn more about the process.

Finding a family profile that interests you does not mean you have to immediately make a final decision.

You may have an opportunity to communicate with prospective adoptive parents, ask questions, and learn more about their lives. These conversations can help you determine whether the connection you felt while viewing their profile continues as you get to know them.

You can ask about the things that matter to you, from everyday family life and parenting to how they envision their relationship with you after adoption.

You can ask questions that help you understand what life with the prospective family might look like for your child.

For example, you might ask about their parenting philosophy, family traditions, neighborhood, schools, religious beliefs, hobbies, childcare plans, extended family, or how they spend their free time.

You may also want to discuss adoption-specific questions, including how they plan to talk with your child about adoption and what kind of ongoing relationship they hope to have with you.

There are no perfect questions you are required to ask. The purpose is to gather the information you need to decide whether you feel comfortable with the family.

Your preferences for contact after placement can be an important consideration when looking at prospective adoptive families.

If you hope to have an open adoption, you may want to consider families who are comfortable with the type of communication you envision. Depending on the adoption plan, that could include pictures and updates, messages, phone or video calls, or in-person visits.

Talking about these expectations during the matching process can help you and the prospective adoptive family better understand what each of you hopes the relationship will look like.

It is okay if a prospective adoptive family does not feel like the right match for you.

A family can be caring, prepared to adopt, and wonderful on paper while still not being the family you envision for your baby. You can discuss your concerns with your adoption professional and continue exploring your options.

You should feel comfortable asking questions and expressing your preferences throughout the matching process.

You do not need to have a detailed picture of the perfect adoptive family before beginning the matching process.

You may start with only a few preferences and discover additional priorities as you learn about different families. Something you initially thought would be important may become less important, while another quality may become a priority.

Your preferences can develop as you learn more, ask questions, and think about the future you want for your child.

The adoption matching process is about more than matching paperwork or profiles. It is an opportunity to learn about prospective adoptive families and consider who you believe may be the right fit for your baby.

Destiny Adoption can help you understand the matching process, explore waiting adoptive families, and talk through the qualities and type of relationship that are important to you as you create your adoption plan.