Deciding to place your child for adoption or not is a huge decision. It’s important to consider all your options and ultimately do what is best for both you and the child. If you are struggling with your choice, weigh these pros and cons of adoption:
Improved Life for the Child – Pro
Depending on your situation, you may not be in the best position to raise a child. If you think you might struggle with money, time, or any other factor if you kept your baby, it might be wise to place him or her for adoption. In a loving adoptive home, your child can get the resources they need to live a happy and fulfilling life.
Feelings of Loss – Con
Some parents are stricken with guilt after placing a child for adoption. Dealing with feelings of loss and guilt after an adoption can be difficult, even in open adoptions. It’s hard not to think about “what if” in adoption scenarios.
Grief and sadness are normal parts of giving birth and placing a child for adoption. If you chose the route of adoption, it’s important to remember that you are not alone.
Control in the Adoption Process – Pro
As a birth parent, you can be involved in the process of choosing the adoptive family. Many birth parents even choose to pursue an open adoption, which means that they will have some level of contact with their child as they grow up. Open adoptions can range from letters and emails to regular in-person visits.
Whatever you choose, you can have peace of mind knowing that you’ve approved of the family your child is going to live with.
Resentment by Your Child – Con
Adopted children often wonder who their birth parents are and where they came from. Once they learn they are adopted, some adopted children grow to resent their birth parents. In their minds, they may feel their parents abandoned them.
Of course, these feelings can be lessened or mitigated by loving adoptive parents or a transparent and friendly open adoption. If the situation is handled with love and honesty, you can prevent or overcome this and show adoption was carefully chosen out of love.
Pros and Cons of Adoption and Making a Decision
There are many more things to consider when analyzing the pros and cons of adoption. Consider your options carefully and make the choice that is best for you.
If you have more questions or need help with the process, don’t hesitate to contact us.
Important Factors to Consider
When facing an unplanned pregnancy, there are different factors to consider as you decide to parent or place your child for adoption. Below are some of the most significant areas of life you can examine to help you choose.
Your Financial Situation
One of the most common reasons women choose adoption is financial instability. Children are indeed expensive. But it’s important to remember that financial circumstances are not always permanent. Money should not be the only reason a woman chooses adoption.
If you are facing financial challenges, look into the resources available to low-income families. Once you have reviewed your finances and all the resources available to you, you will have a better understanding of your ability to provide for yourself and a child.
If you decide adoption is right for you and your child, you will receive financial assistance for living expenses and medical costs related to pregnancy and birth.
Your Support System
If you choose to parent, what type of support system will you have? Will the birth father be involved? Now is the time to consider the birth father’s feelings about parenting and adoption.
Many women choose adoption because they want their child to grow up in a two-parent home. There are plenty of single parents raising wonderful children, but it is a challenging road to travel.
If you will be parenting your child alone, will you have sufficient help from friends and family?
Your Current Responsibilities
Raising a child requires a great deal of time and energy. It can be hard to balance parenting with other responsibilities, such as finishing school or pursuing a rigorous career path.
Perhaps you already have children at home you are raising, and the additional time commitment of a new child is unrealistic.
Choosing to parent might mean that you have to put your other goals aside, so you have the time needed to raise your child.
Ask yourself if you are willing to do this. By examining all of your current responsibilities, you can better understand the time you may or may not have available for a baby.
Your Readiness to Parent
Probably the most important factor to consider is your readiness to parent. Are you ready to be a mother? Are you prepared to care for another person? An unplanned pregnancy comes with a lot of confusion and stress, so take your time determining your preparedness.
When considering parenting or placing your child for adoption, remember that the decision is yours and yours alone. It may be helpful to speak to a professional counselor or close friends and family members. However, no one should make this decision for you.
To speak with one of our licensed adoption professionals, call or text us anytime. There is no obligation, and it is completely confidential. Florida: 727-202-8966. Tennessee: 865-392-6261.
Author: Destiny Adoption Services
Destiny Adoption Services is proud to support and guide birth parents and adoptive families on the journey of adoption. We’re a state licensed nonprofit adoption agency with four decades of adoption experience, and our professional team of experts includes moms, adoptive moms and birth mothers who provide compassion combined with trusted resources and skills.